Blog 44

Blog 44

Saturday, February 1, 2025

Going to Germany

I booked my flight to Germany to visit my first Grandchild, Freya. I arrive the same day that Ann departs. I will be traveling alone. I made the mistake of talking to a travel agent, and my $714.00 ticket became $900.00 after they added the Travel Care Package, which I would have declined had I booked the tickets myself online. When I return, Karen leaves so I can care for the dogs and take Joelle to and from work and any appointments she may have. That way, we will not have to impose on the Q’s. I am up at midnight, unable to go back to sleep. I blame the one Perpetual IPA I drank. The added sugars in my system are disrupting my sleep. Besides, as much as I like an occasional beer, the drug interactions for many of my medicines are not good.

Blog 45

Blog 45

February 5, 2025 or 2-5-25 or 2525?

In the year 2525

If man is still alive

If woman can survive

They may find…

So many major corporations are abandoning their Diversity, Equality, and Inclusion Policies. Others keep to their values and boast how their DEI practices have benefitted their organizations. Still true to DEI are Apple, COSTCO, the NFL, and Ben and Jerry’s. I am so glad to know. I am not ready to give up ice cream and my Apple gear just yet, and as long as they stay the course, I won’t have to. I am no longer shopping at Target, Walmart, and Tesla.

I have been watching a post-apocalyptic Apple Original TV Series on Apple TV+. I just finished Season 2, Episode 1, The Engineer. IMHO, this is a well-written, complex, and worthwhile show to watch. There is violence, murder, suicide, profanity, sex, courage, risk, reward, plot twists, and red herrings. I highly recommend it to most adult viewers.

I am also watching Severance Season 2 and Mythic Quest Season 2 on Apple TV+. I have yet to start Shrinking Season 3 with Karen.

Almost all of the snow and ice has melted outside in time for our next winter storm warning. Camp Hill School District has already decided to close its schools tomorrow. I was hoping to play pickleball, but that, too, is closed.

Peace and Love,

Timothy E. Wahlstrom

Loss

Blog 46

March 31, 2025

Anna’s 30^th Birthday

Loss

I was thinking about what I had lost. The Boston song, “More Than A Feeling” was playing in McCarthy’s Irish Pub. I was eating dinner with Angie from Someone To Tell It To after a production of “I’m Proud of You.” I told her I miss being in a band. I miss doing the work of practicing our songs and the joy of performing live for an audience. I lost that when I moved from VA to PA. I rearranged the storage under the stairs when I put our suitcases away after returning from Germany and visiting Freya. I put my instruments at the entrance to the closet. Now, I can take them out to play whenever I feel like it.

I want to go camping at Benchmark Hideaway Campground alone in upstate New York. Visit a Plum Village Monastery, Blue Cliff. Camp on Saturday night, visit the monastery on Sunday, camp on Sunday night, and return on Monday morning. 

I will take my 

Eno Double Nest Hammock.

A Sleeping Bag

A pillow

Biotite Headlamp

Biotite Camp Stove and pot

Aeropress Coffee Maker

Coffee Grounds from Brazil

Jackery Solar Generator

Sleeping mat in case I have to retreat into the Subie to sleep

Camping chair folding

Walking stick Thor Hammer Cloud

Kisick boots

Cotopaxi Jacket

Meds

Toiletries

Clean Socks and underwear

Hat

Peace and Love,

Timothy E. Wahlstrom

Blame it on the Parkinson’s

January 22, 2025

Blog 43

Blame it on the Parkinson’s

After watching a webinar from the Michael J. Fox Foundation on Parkinson’s Disease and Mood Changes, I realized something. I overreacted to Karen. Whatever she said, she meant it for a single event, like planning my trip to see our granddaughter in Germany. I took it to mean everything from now on in perpetuity. That is why I thought my life was over or might as well be over. I believe that is a change since I have been diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. It may also be attributed to my use of Trazadone with the side effect of suicidal ideation. Some people, like me, suffer from depression before their PD diagnosis, and others only do it afterward. I am realizing how much I have experienced both before and after. 

I shared all of that with Karen, and she agreed. She also supports the idea that I need to get help with that and possibly other things that I have not dealt with from my past, like past trauma. Can anyone recommend a good therapist?

Peace and Love,

Timothy E. Wahlstrom

Daily Blog 2025

Daily Blog 2025

Daily Writing About Life

First Blog of 2025

My first blog of 2025 stream of consciousness there is always something to blog about…

Blog 42

Thursday, January 16, 2025

Karen and I began our new year with her getting sick, spending the day and one night on our bathroom floor in pain and vomiting little bits of fluid at a time. It eventually resulted in an ambulance ride to the hospital and two emergency room visits. Admission to a private room. Gallbladder removal was successful without complications. Recovery. Overnight stay. Discharge, hopefully, today.

Yesterday, in the hospital with Karen (gallbladder surgery), Joelle, and Christine (CJ) (Karen’s sister), I became mindful of the way CJ talks and her voice inflections; there is something about the way she talks and the phrases she uses that I don’t like. Is it that she sounds like she is talking to children rather than adults? Is she condescending? Is it that she knows better? Is it the way she tries to finish your sentences? Is it her way of offering unsolicited advice? Is it know-it-all talk? Is she negative? Does she interrupt you? I don’t know what it is exactly, but it is something. I will figure that out. Whatever it is, it is not her; it’s me that I need to fix it. I cannot fix CJ. She does not need fixing by me.

Something that I could fix was my home office desktop for better creativity and productivity. I replaced the IKEA cork desk mat with a Twelve South leather desk mat. I added a Twelve South HiRise 2 Deluxe iPhone and AirPods charger stand. I used my existing Twelve South BookArc, Apple Magic Keyboard, and Magic Trackpad. For work, I added a Twelve South CurveFlex, an Apple Magic Keyboard 10-keyless, and an Apple Magic Mouse. The mouse I managed to leave out of my supplies the first day. So, while I was at the Pursuit Coworking office, I had to use the trackpad on the MacBook Air, and that was awkward on the CurveFlex, so I abandoned that setup. I could have asked Cody for a spare mouse or the community at large, but I decided to keep my troubles to myself and not ask for help. It is hard for me to ask for help. I like to be the person doing the help, not the person asking.

For my Subaru, I added four Greenway InstaCrate folding stackable boxes to organize my trunk space and a folding hand truck to carry them all if and when necessary. I saw Andrew using them at Christmas and immediately wanted some for myself.

NEWSFLASH

01-17-2025

From Kevin Muench:

Hi tim, 

Say hello to Freya Sophie. She was born this morning at 9:46. both Anna and Freya are doing great.

55cm and 3500 grams

21 in and 7.12 lbs.

I am so happy beyond words! Karen Joelle and I FaceTimed with them as soon as we got the news!

MORE NEWS

Saturday, January 18, 2025

Yesterday, my first grandchild, a girl, was born. And I died, or I wanted to. I walked down the middle of Country Lake Road in the dark, wearing dark clothes, while a car approached. I wanted to die. This is the first time I wanted to die this badly. But, as the car approached, I stepped off the double-yellow centerline into the opposite lane to avoid id getting hit. I guess I do not want to die that badly. The car slowed down and avoided me. I want to die.

I got excited and began researching flights to Germany. That was my mistake Karen had been doing that since we first learned Anna was pregnant. It was also a mistake to tell Karen that I had been looking at flights. She was angry with me and said that I could do my own thing and that she would do hers. That I, me, Tim was the problem and not her. It must have been nice to be married to someone who thought that everything was their fault. Well, not anymore, she knows the problem is me, Tim. She did not want to hear anything from me. She KNEW I would not say I am sorry. And she didn’t want to hear any of my thoughts or reasons or anything. So, I said, “I am sorry, Karen.” I got out of bed and went for a walk of more than a mile. Contemplating how much of a problem I am and considering suicide. Walking on the centerline of the road. Thinking, where do I go and know that I will be murdered? I am such a problem let me solve this problem for everyone.

I am at my lowest weight in years, 157 pounds, my first granddaughter was born, and Karen is out of the hospital after successful gallbladder surgery, I should be the happiest man on earth, but I’m not. I am miserable. And I do not know how to fix it, me, myself, my problems. Someone, please help me. Please…

When I returned from my death walk, I closed the door without locking it, dropped my Carhart coat on the floor, and crawled onto the dog bed with Swede and Ruby. Swede snuggled against me and Ruby went to the smaller dog bed alone. I eventually got up took my pill case from my nightstand and went to the spare bedroom downstairs. I took my 9:00 pm pills and went to sleep.

Karen woke me this morning, apologizing that the dogs were awake. She is prohibited from lifting more than 10 pounds for six weeks, including walking the dogs. So, I got up, dressed, took the dogs out, made coffee for the two of us, took hers in bed, the dogs joined her, and I sat down with mine and wrote this blog.

Today

I still feel depressed, sad, and have suicidal ideation. It should be a happy day, but it’s not.

Christmas Day

Blog 41

December 25, 2024

Christmas Day

The first gift I received today was eight hours of sleep. The past two nights, I only got three hours each night. I slept until 6:00 am. this morning. The bad news is that neither Karen nor I got up when the cat was meowing at us to feed her at 4:00 am. So, she peed on the clothes Karen had left on her side of the bed. Merry Christmas, Karen.

David, Ben, and Kara left this morning after breakfast. They made it home safely. I remembered to give the Penn State corn hole game to Ben and Kara before they packed the car. I remembered to give Jacob his yellow hard hat and fly fishing tackle before he left as well. I had forgotten to give them at Thanksgiving. Ben and Kara did not take the all-in-one AM/FM Stereo and record player I no longer use. Oh, well, I guess I will try to sell it on Facebook Marketplace. 

Karen took a nap after breakfast in the Sunroom with the carbon heater going, Afterwards we played Song-Pop-Party with Sara and Andrew via the Apple TV+ Arcade game. They were able to connect to my party using their smart phones. It is also available for the Nintendo Switch. On sale now for $9.95 on the Nintendo Switch Store.

Karen and I exchanged Christmas Gifts:

She gave me a BioLite Headlamp (I used it to walk the dogs after dark). 

A PopSocket that says ZONK (I already attached it to my phone). 

And 150 feet of Paracord (to make dog collars and leashes). 

To Karen, I gave:

A decorative water spritzer for her plants and a glass mosaic birdbath for the front yard. Both of which I knew she wanted but, did not suspect I would remember or get her.

In my stocking the kids gave me:

• USB rechargeable hand warmers
• M&M’s
• Socks
• Mini Oreo Cookies
• Reeses Peanut Butter Cups
• Water Bottle Cleaning Tablets
• Golf gloves to use for Pickleball
• Baseball Cards
• A Butterfinger candy bar
• More M&M’s

Now I have FIVE things that I need to recharge so that they are ready to go when I take the dogs out. 2 Heated gloves, 2 Hand warmers, and one headlamp. The headlamp is just what I wanted. It has brightness settings, read red light (in the battery pack, a tilt in the front light, and USB-C charging. The Hand Warmers can also charge USB-C devices like my iPhone 14 Pro Max.

Remember the Secret Santa Google Sheets I made and asked everyone to fill out. I do not think that she even used them! She bought me things from my Amazon Wish List. Maybe they used them for the stocking stuffers.

Sara, Andrew, Joelle, Karen and I played Hues and Cues, Karen won. We mixed ourselves drinks with mini bar bottles of booze, except not Karen. We played This is not a Hat and I lost with -6 points. Yay me!

I walked the dogs at 6:00 p.m., wearing my new headlamp. I wondered how I could combine Sara and Andrew’s names: SARANDREW (sir-and-drew or Sir Andrew or saran-drew).

I need to read A Child’s Christmas in Wales by Dylan Thomas. It’s one of my Christmas traditions. We started watching the Hobbit Trilogy. We stopped before The Battle of the Five Armies. We also watch The Lord of the Rings Extended Version on six Blu-Ray DVDs.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year filled with Peace and Love,

Tim

The Kids Pulled a Switch

Blog 40

Christmas 2024

Tuesday, December 23, 2024

The Kids Pulled a Switch

It’s Christmas time for this Wahlstrom-Durren Family. Everyone has gathered in our townhouse in Harrisburg, PA, which has become our traditional celebration. We opened stockings and presents, and I thought I knew what I was getting as a group gift from our kids: a Hamboards Classic 6-foot 6-inch bamboo longboard that I found for sale in Facebook Marketplace from a guy in York, PA. He threw in for no additional cost a Gopher Gears longboard and an adjustable Land Paddle from Hamboards. The skateboards had never been ridden. He delivered the two boards but, was so concerned about getting them to fit in his car that he forgot the Land Paddle. He said I could get it from him at a later date.  I had to make the purchase because of the timing and proximity to the seller. This is THE longboard I have wanted since I started riding them. But, retail the go for $700.00. I negotiated them for $200.00. The kids were going to combine their funds and pay me back $200.00. Well, last night they did not bring out the skateboards. Instead, they told me that my group gift was backordered and would not arrive until sometime in January 2025. They asked me if I wanted them to tell me what it is or to wait for the surprise. I decided to wait for the surprise when it arrived. There is one condition, I can not buy anything for myself until after it arrives. See, Someone To Tell It To paid me $1,000.00 in December and they know I would tend to spend it on myself.

Karen did all of the shopping for the kids’ gifts. All I did was create the Secret Santa Lists for everyone to fill out to make the shopping easier. I think she bought me some gifts too. I bought her two things that I knew she wanted. We wait until Christmas Day to exchange gifts after the kids have all left to go to other Christmas Celebrations with other family members. Mary and Joelle know what I bought for Karen. They are wrapped and hidden in the basement.

Sleeping Arrangements:

Finding room for everyone to sleep was a challenge.

Ben and Kara – Joelle’s Room

Jacob and Anna – Spare Bedroom without windows.

Sara and Andrew – The room behind the curtain on two accordion mattresses.

Mary – Between the Laundry Room and my Desk.

Joelle – On the sectional downstairs.

David – On the Living Room Couch.

Karen and Tim – Our bedroom.

We still could have fit two more people. There is a bed in the Sunroom and a mattress under the spare bedroom bed that also could have been used in the Sunroom. We bought an electric space heater from Costco so that people could sleep in the Sunroom. I guess I will return that after the returns rush has passed. I wisely saved the box.

We started a New Tradition:

We went to The Tranquility Tree Farm in Emmaus, PA. Except for Andrew, we all have fond memories of working the tree farm. We helped Mimi and Unk the weekend after Thanksgiving as opposed to the weekend of Thanksgiving. We did everything from processing trees, working the snack bar, running the tree shaker (Jacob was 9-years old and did that shaker all day, he earned his share of the tips.), using a leaf blower to clear new snowfall from the pre-cut trees (snow is heavy), carrying trees to people’s cars, helping in the gift shop, driving the tractor pulling the hay wagon, dropping people off in the trees and picking them up with their freshly cut tree, tending the bonfire, helping Santa take pictures with our guests, to welcoming people for their first visit. This year marks TEN Years since the tree farm closed its final season. The cousins did their white elephant gift exchange with Kevin and Anna on Zoom. John and I stayed downstairs with the Basset Hounds. We prevented them from going up and down the treacherous staircases and from being underfoot. The Basset Hounds, Swede, and Ruby, played in the snow. Ruby and Swede ran off towards the road. Jacob had to run after Ruby and carried her back to where the rest of us were waiting in shock that they tried to run off. We ate pizza from Armetta’s that CJ and TJ ran and brought to the house. Karen ran an auction for Thrift Store gifts she bought and described the item but we bid on it sight unseen using play money Santa-Bucks. Missing were Dan, Brenda and Zoe.

Love and peace,

Tim

Water from Where?

Blog 39

The Cat

Chapter Two

Water from Where?

I have been finding what I thought was water or a melted ice cube the past two mornings in the kitchen on the floor and on and underneath a mat in front of the sink. My fear is there is a leak under the sink. But, upon inspection, I am unable to locate a leak. So, it must be an ice cube that fell from a cup or the ice dispenser in the refrigerator door that the dogs did not eat. Today (day 3), I caught the cat starting to pee in that very spot. I shooed her away. I sprayed the floor with Nature’s Miracle and the floor mat on both sides. There is one mystery solved. These past two mornings, when I cleaned it up, there was no cat pee smell in the liquid. I wonder if the floor mat absorbs the odor. She ran to her bathroom and meowed for food. So, I fed her. Then, she jumped down from the sink and entered the litter box. She peed and pooped and tried to cover it up, unsuccessfully. I searched Reddit for boiled cat recipes. I found some pictures of cats in pots on a stove. Bring six cups of water to a boil and add one cat. They walked it back with #dontdothis, and the explanation was that the cat jumped into the pot itself, and the stove was cold.

Peace and love (even to cats),

Tim

Guided Meditation

Blog 38

The Cat

Chapter One

Guided Meditation

How did the Daily OM know that I needed a guided meditation today? It was their gift to me via email today. See, two days ago, we bought a new dog bed from Costco. This morning, Storm, our 14 fucking year old cat, decided to pee on it. Only the outside cover is washable. Nobody knows what the fuck the inside is made of or if it is washable. Karen asked what we wanted for breakfast; I replied, “Boiled cat.” I am done with this cat. If only I knew of a way to poison her that is undetectable in an autopsy. I am thinking of grinding up the poinsettia plant and adding it to her food. We would probably just get her remains cremated and keep them in a box on a shelf. One doesn’t usually have an autopsy performed on a house pet. I wonder how I would change, as a person, in my personality and my disposition were I to kill Storm? The idea of a foreboding guilt would be too much for me to live with. When I moved to Pennsylvania, I drove five and a half hours with her meowing the whole time. Saif had suggested that I let her out at a Rest Stop and tell Karen that she had gotten out by mistake and ran away. I wish I had thought of that.

Peace and love,

Tim

Apple Has Done It Again

Apple Has Done It Again

Blog 37

Apple Has Done It Again

I applaud Apple Inc. again for their innovation. I still believe they are one of the few companies that are innovative and rewards their employees for it and we consumers benefit from it. Introducing the Apple AirPods Pro 2:

I can credit them for both causing hearing loss and developing a remedy for it. Surely we have seen the millions of teenagers and Millenials wearing the AirPods everywhere all of the time. We may have stood close enough to the on the train to hear what they are listening too. Yes, the early AirPods had built-in controls to limit the volumes to prevent hearing loss. But that was easily overridden by the users. So hearing loss quasi caused by Apple’s AirPods.

Enter the Apple AirPods Pro 2! The selling points are Groundbreaking sound, Active Noise Cancellation, Adaptive Audio, Personalized Spatial Audio that immerses you in sound, and a new all-in-one experience to test, aid, and help protect your hearing with Clinical-grade Hearing Aid capability.

Now, you NEVER have to take the AirPods Pro 2 out of your ears. Immerse yourselve in sound. The AirPods Pro 2 will turn the volume down when they detect you are talking to someone or that they are talking to you. If you are among the growing number of people with hearing loss, the AirPods Pro 2 will amplify the voices for you while tuning out the unwanted background noises. Boasting 30 hours of listening time and 24 hours of talk time. Truely Groundbreaking.

I predict, if they have not already done so, hearing aid companies will begin to offer Bluetooth technology that enables their hearing aids to also perform as earbuds. As of 2023 there were none.And earbud manufacturers will be following Apple to develop their own earbuds that are also hearing aides. There are some that exist today but, not at Apple’s price point. The first ones to be Medicare approved will roll in the dough because this Baby Boomer and other like me are coming of that age. Hint-hint kids, this is all I want for Christmas 2024, Apple’s AirPods Pro 2 with MagSafe Charging Case (USB-C).

Peace and love,
Tim

Disclaimer, I was not compensated by Apple or any other manufacturer, nor have I received the AirPods Pro 2 with MagSage Charging Case (USB-C) free or any other way. This article represents my opinion and the facts stated are accurate as of publication to the best of my knowledge.